This was to be a post simply about taking the time to enjoy the last shining remnants this Summer season before we retreat for the Fall and Winter months. I wished to prompt you to make an offering of seven shining pennies to the Goddess Yemaya–the mother of all life, the mother of the oceans, the sun, and the moon. I wanted to encourage you to visit the skirts of Yemaya at the ocean’s edge, and I was going to suggest that you take time for yourself, breathe in the salt air, and find some healing waters to bathe in. I wanted to guide you to ask Yemaya for help shifting that which needs to go so that something else can take its place. This was going to be about how to use these last days of Summer to cleanse your psyche and your soul, soak up the sunshine, and revel in the warmth on your skin. Spirit has guided me to go deeper.
In July, I made an offering of seven shiny pennies to Yemaya at the request of my dear best friend and the Founder and Priestess of Motherhouse of the Goddess, Kimberly Moore. I have made offerings to Yemaya before and was happy for the reminder while away on my annual Goddess Retreat vacation with my BFF Ann-Marie. I was expecting to have yet another beautiful moment with the mother of the seas and all living things, but I gained much more from my experience. I also felt compelled to create a crystal grid on the beach in honor of Yemaya and her fertile and abundant energies. It was a fluid and connected experience, and it has turned into so much more…
By throwing seven shiny pennies into the ocean in an offering, you can give gratitude for all that has come to be in your life and ask Yemaya for her blessings and abundance. Yemaya loves watermelons, copper, and shiny jewelry, so leave your precious gems at home if you aren’t ready to give them over to her in the offering! We made the offerings of the pennies on behalf of Kimberly, and then I tossed in my own seven. After the offering, I felt the swirl of the waves grabbing at my ankles beckoning me into the water. She wanted me to swim in her skirts amongst the tidal waves gently breaking on the shore. I waded in deeper knowing that she wanted to anoint me with her water and truly cleanse what I had asked to remove just moments earlier. I waded in deeper and had to commit to being one with the waves coming ashore. I stayed there in that space, watching the waves coming in one by one, and deciding whether to dive under or float up and over each one.
I chanted “Yemaya, I ask for your blessings, I ask you to wash away what no longer serves me, help me fully shine in this world.” Each wave, I became more confident, and more sure of myself, as I continued to ask Yemaya to remove obstacles from my psyche that didn’t allow me to shine fully in this world. I emerged from the ocean a little out of breath and exhilarated. I felt in my heart that Yemaya had heard my requests and received my offerings.
Fast-forward three weeks. It was not until I thought about writing about this experience and realized that upon reflection, Yemaya has been answering my call for assistance and letting go. I had asked Yemaya, the mother of the sun and the moon and all of the fishes in the seas, to free me from my restraints. To show me how to fully be who I am supposed to become on this earthly plane. I asked for her to help me overcome my limiting behaviors and thought patterns that keep me from being fully surrendered to the notion that I am now a lightworker guided by intuition and spirit in this world.
In the last three weeks, Yemaya has brought me people and experiences that have encouraged my new path as a lightworker, and also challenged my path to see how strong I am in my convictions of staying the path of light. People are seeking me out for spiritual guidance, readings, energy healing, and crystal work. Strangers are saying that they don’t know why, but they are drawn to me.
On the other hand, just this week, my rock and foundation in life, my fiance, my life-partner of 11 years, confronted me with concern about finances and about my “hobby.” He pointed out others that have traditional jobs while having fun with their “hobby.” He suggested that perhaps it was taking up too much of my energy and it was time to get practical and look for traditional work again. (Not that I had not considered it myself). He said that helping people and building community didn’t put food on the table. I was dumbfounded. Here I was receiving the green light from the Universe saying Yes, Yes, Yes! and the person I love most in the world was questioning my path.
I now see that it was Yemaya at work. She is the mother of the sun and the moon and it’s now the heightened energy of the eclipse month of August. The energies are ripe for revealing fears and uncovering truths. There is no filter right now and emotions can be a bit volatile, unfiltered, and raw. This experience forced me to stay in a place of compassion. I now know it was a moment of weakness on his part. A fear-based reaction. Not his norm. I can see how all of my changes over the last two years challenge the status quo of our relationship and the division of duties and responsibilities. I have been asking him to see me through a long chronic illness and recovery, and now I’m asking him to support me through a transition of career into uncharted territory led by Spirit. He simply does not fully understand. He is by nature a rebel and a renegade. He carves paths, he does not follow them, and does not like abiding by the printed rules of play. But, at that moment, I believe he just wanted to go back to “normal.” His unconventionality is one of the reasons that I am so in love with him, he lives by a different set of rules, and has shown me how to be spontaneous and trust that everything will be alright.
Yemaya is asking me “Sink or swim, what will you do now?” The night my partner challenged me with his comments, I had no defense for myself, my path, my journey. I simply listened and did not react outwardly, it cut to the quick, and internally I was devastated. I still have guilt for my illness and all he had to uphold when I could not care for our children, or cook, much less be a good partner to him. I told him that I heard what he had to say and remained quiet for the rest of the night. I was restless, and my nightly meditation did not provide me an escape from my harshest critic, myself.
At 2 a.m., restless and sleepless, I arose to find my safe space, my studio. Answers come more easily to me here. Warmed by the glow of the salt lamp, the swirl of incense, the gentle sounds of nature and the ocean coming through the speakers, and surrounded by the objects that are known and loved, I prayed. I lit a candle and I put my forehead to the ground asking for guidance. I asked for this situation to be healed immediately. I asked for strength. I called in God, Goddess, Buddha, the Elements, and the Angels to answer my request. Asked for my pathway to be clear, and for ease and flow to be restored. For love to find a way. For everything to soften. The Universe has my worries now, I will simply continue to be an agent of love and light no matter where I am or what I am doing in life. I watched the candle flickering as I sat up in a daze after the tears had run dry. I watched the flame dancing to the sounds of the music and thinking to myself, this is who I am now. This is where I am now. There is no going back. I must shine my light in this world, so that I can be spark-light others to shine their light in the world, too. The next morning, there was no discussion of the night before. Something had shifted and I was glad.
I am now grateful, albeit a few days later, because this challenge of my path by someone I love so deeply, gave me pause to fully ask myself if this something I will fight for? Is there any turning back from a life connected to spirit when you have received the call? Is my new “normal” an un-compromisable part of who I am now? Yemaya forced this situation to happen. It was my test. Just like the new people seeking me out was a test; by not referring them to others that I thought more qualified, but seeing myself as a qualified guide myself, I confirmed my path.
So, as I sit here and share this intimate story with you all, I look out the window to see a green hummingbird visiting the flowering herbs that I planted outside my window. I have never seen one visit my yard before! I feel hopeful and give gratitude. I take this as a reminder and encouragement from spirit to continue to pursue my dreams, to seek joy in each day, to listen to spirit as my internal compass before I listen to the guidance of others. To be a catalyst for love, peace, and positive change for others. It is also a reminder to be swift and moving, to be resilient and know that I must continue to seek out the sweet nectar of life. Perhaps I will go get a desk job marketing again, perhaps the Universe will shower me with prosperity right now so that I do not financially struggle, or spirit will show me another creative way that I had not considered before. I stay active in practice. I listen with a deeper connection, and I encourage all of you on a path to a spirit guided life to be gentle with yourself and those who surround you on your journey. Seek out your tribe, where your journey is understood and supported outside of your family structure. We all need to stay the path of light and be creative so that our work can be done.
And, if you are near the ocean in the last few weeks of Summer, throw seven shiny pennies to Mother Yemaya, and give gratitude, and ask her for strength and guidance on your journey.
Blessings to you all on your journey with the light.