Many of us are defeated by our feelings of inadequacy without even realizing that we are suffering from it. We constantly compare ourselves to others, and feel that we fall short or just aren’t good enough. Unsure about ourselves, we work hard to impress people, or we become overly sensitive to criticism or what we perceive as failure. Sometimes we end up creating a mask, a false persona we believe will be pleasing to the world so that no one can judge who we really are. Call it a self-worth or image issue, but the root of this type of thinking can be defined as an inferiority complex. These feelings can overwhelm us at times, and send us into a reactionary space, making us defensive about our choices and our experiences.
Transforming an inferiority complex into a healthy self view can be a daunting task. Having these defeatist thoughts is like being in a self-governed prison: every time you try to escape and move towards confidence, that evil but well-trained voice in your head whips out a nightstick and beats you back into the cell. It’s amazing and sad how mean we can be to ourselves sometimes. But in order to change your life, you have to change your foundation. And in this case, it means renewing your thought processes in reference to yourself and the world around you.
Feelings of inadequacy are fear-based emotions. When we come from a place of fear, we cannot achieve greatness or success because our lives are being lived from a shaky and unstable foundation. We don’t trust ourselves or the world around us. At times like these, it’s important to remember that Spirit did not create us from fear. Our souls, as the true essence of our being, are made from power, from love, from forgiveness, from confidence; we are made from the light of the sun and the dark of the earth. Nature is completely confident that plants will grow, that the world will evolve; we are made from Nature, so that same sense of assurance is instilled in us. Fear is something we learn, something we are taught through negative experiences and harmful influences. But it is truly not in our nature to be fearful of who we are and what we can accomplish.
We compare ourselves to others’ achievements, to the success of our family and friends. We fantasize about how easy it must have been for them, and whine, “Why not me? When do I get mine? Why is he/she so special?” In reality, we have no idea what that person had to go through for their success. How many sleepless nights, bad relationships, and crappy jobs did so-and-so have to suffer to get to their current lifestyle? We are unable to see the entire spectrum of another person’s life and choices, and instead of acknowledging that, we make ourselves miserable with unfounded feelings of injustice. The truth is, when you compare yourself to others, you are completely negating everything Spirit had to do to get you where you are. You are belittling the struggles you survived, the people who blessed you, the good works you achieved, and the love and happiness you’ve experienced that made you who you are.
Take into consideration how much of the path of our lives is a mystery to us. You go through your experiences for a reason, and there is a purpose to every lesson you learn. If you are preoccupied with someone else’s portion of life, with someone else’s lesson, you miss your own. Remember that life is a work in progress, and you have not come to completion yet. You have no idea what life has in store for you, or what wonderful things you are being prepared for! Enjoy and be satisfied with your own path, instead of coveting everyone else’s.
Sometimes we make the mistake of trying to validate ourselves by ourselves. We are so busy ‘looking out for Number One’ we overlook the way we can help others. Rebuilding our self-image and esteem does not commence with selfishness; it begins with gratitude for our own paths, and the love we share with the world. The quickest way to move out of inferiority is to become aware of the skills and abilities you can offer humanity. Ask yourself, with compassion and without judgment: “What do I have to offer?” Make a list of your obvious and hidden talents, big and small. Work to honestly recognize your abilities in all areas – tangible, emotional, mental, spiritual. This practice puts you in the position to see your worthiness, as well as helping you realize the power you have to bless, heal, and help those around you.
Start looking at yourself through the eyes of the Goddess, through the eyes of the Light, instead of looking at the negative image you’ve created for yourself. Spirit is already convinced you are worth it, does not find you lacking in any way, and is certain you have undeniable gifts to offer the world. Through Spirit, we are perfect, and more than we need to be in order to succeed. Your energy and the love of the Universe is constantly moving, continually growing, and always changing your life and the power around you, every minute of every day.
Take the time to honor these transformations, and allow yourself to align with kindness and compassion.
Signs you may be suffering from inferiority:
- Do you grudgingly admit your shortcomings, while enthusiastically pointing out the shortcomings of others?
- Do you bully people or talk about others with disdain?
- Do you feel attacked when someone disagrees with you?
- Do you feel belittled when you receive correction or confrontation?
- Do you blame others for your problems?
- Do you derive your worth and value from your performance or appearance?
- Are you touchy, fragile, easily hurt, whether you show it or not?
- Are you critical or defensive?
- Do you feel as if you have to talk about yourself to get others to like you?
- Do you have a superior attitude?
- Do you try to impress people?
Checklist courtesy of worldchangers.org