I keep the Goddess close. I wear a Kali skull mala as a bracelet. When I am frustrated or angry, I take a minute, breath deep and “Kali Ma” my way around the mala. Sometimes, a few beads will suffice. Sometimes, more. Many more. Life just goes that way and having the Goddess to lean on is such a relief. I never feel alone. When I am beating myself up, picking my flaws out one by one, the Goddess understands.
Ma Kali seems to know me well. Someone hurts my child and bam, I am warrior mama. Ma Kali gets this. If I am sliding down into a sulk, Ma Kali says, “Oh, no! Up you go!” When I’m feeling like the world is cruel and unfair, Ma Kali says “Tell me and leave it here to burn”. So I do, and move forward. Kali is like a black hole, sucking in everything bad and using the energy to regenerate for a higher purpose. She deals in forces, sun, moon, fire, blood, coal, love, hate, life, death. Keeping her close means one can learn from her if you listen.
Kali is womb and tomb; mother and destroyer. Born to vanquish evil, she becomes blind and is unable to stop killing, her rage so great. She is determined to eliminate the darkness from the world and give the Earth’s children a return to safety. Her husband, Shiva, understands she has gone too far, throwing himself under her feet. She comes to consciousness, sees him and reacts in surprise. The typical image of Kali is in this moment. Her hands are full of heads and blades. She wears a belt of arms and a necklace of more heads. She is standing on a cremation ground. Can you imagine? I can. I imagine my daughter and husband being endangered. I can imagine the rage, the lethal blindness. I also can imagine my peaceful, gentle husband throwing himself in my way. Stopping me. Bringing me back from the edge. After which, I’d recover and thank Goddess for Her wisdom in my life.